“Go On”

How are you? Are you good? Happy? Or still on the spot where no one can help you out? Still in the verge of pulling all the depressing thoughts that can kill your happiness? I hope you’re okay. Don’t worry, everything will be fine, everything is on their way to their own perfect places where they truly belong. Stop thinking of the horrible events that happened in the past, those are done, and we learnt from that, right?


This time, think about the things, places, and people that can make and brings happiness in you. Think about of improving yourself into the best version of you, don’t stuck yourself in your tiny comfort zone that is not comfortable anymore, live life! Enjoy it when you still have it, stop thinking bad about yourself and to everyone around. Just live your life and be happy, be free from your misery…


Because, happiness is a choice and also living life. I know that that depression and anxiety are a tough enemies but we can fight them right? We can beat them and we can do it! We’re on our way to win this battle right? With the help of those people who give us the massive support and love, with the help of God and our faith, we can win. We will win…


Maybe, there’s a time that we feel so down and hopeless but c’mon! We’re not like that every time, even though there’s this silent killers inside our mind, we can still smile and laugh. So, why we can’t beat this? Let’s just think positive, be positive! You have that and there’s a reason behind, you have to feel and suffer that because you can get through that, right?


We suffer from sleepless nights, random panic attacks, and intense sadness, because someone knows that we can pass that heavy feelings. Someone knows that we’re strong enough to handle those kind of challenges that’s why, let’s keep that thought. We’re strong…


Continue your life and you’ll find the happiness that you’ve been wanting since day one, keep the strength and be brave. This year, promise yourself that whatever happens you’ll fight, for you and for those who keeps on loving and supporting you. Even life is like this, still, it is worth living…


So here I am, hoping for the better days to come…

“Hi, I am anxiety!” 

Tell me, how does it feel being so alone? How does it feel being hit and stuck from uncertainty again? How does it feel being alive with me inside your pretty miserable mind? Are you still okay? Stop, just stop convincing yourself that you’re fine because you’re not. I know you well, I am living inside you, creeping you when there’s a chance, holding your happy thoughts, and letting go of the negative ones to kill your confidence.

Hi, I am anxiety and we’re living together for so long. We’ve known each other for about a years and still counting, sweet isn’t it? While you feel that everyone already left, I am here. When you feel in delight, I am here, waiting. Waiting for you to realize that eventually, every happiness will fade. When you want to go on with your life in this cruel world, I am just here at your back, letting you know that the world is not a safe place anymore. You need to hide, let’s go hide in the dark and reminisce every hard times of the past chapters and let’s overthink if what another day will bring us. That’s more safer than living outside in our safe sanctuary.


You get tired of having me in your life but, hey, I will stay and I will never leave you. I am your shadow, yes, you can’t see me in the dark but still, you can feel my presence. Of course, there’s a time that you feel free because you forgot me for a while but you’ll ended up coming back to me, even though, you’re exhausted of having me. Somehow, you are getting used of my existence, and I am liking it.

I know you are in the verge of giving up, you’re just scared of letting all the positivity in you. Being weak and being a coward is okay, you don’t need to be brave every seconds of your life. Giving up sometimes is way more better and more easier than pretending that you are tough and strong. You’re such a liar! Don’t lie to me, I am your inner self, I can change you to be the kind of person that I want you to be. I can live every breath you take, I can smile when you’re sad and down, I am healthy, unlike you. Emotionally weak! 


You want to get rid of me right? Then what are you waiting for? Kill me! Don’t stop yourself from hating me, I would love that. Let’s escape the life, let’s escape the reality, the sorrowful world that full of lies and misery. Let’s go to the another dimension, which only you and me there. No blockages, no complications, no pretending, and no one will control us. Let’s go? 


Why? Why you can’t do it? Just slash it, c’mon! That won’t hurt. Yes, get that shiney gun, you can pull the trigger when you like. Point it, point it to your head, perfect! What? Just pull the trigger you sad human! You can do it, don’t be scared. Everything will be fine after that, you will be alright! Do it, pull it! 


What? You’re really that stupid. You want to stay and feel every strikes of pain and numbness? Why don’t you just hang yourself and let everyone scream tomorrow? You know, they are all tired of having you. You are a burden to them, they don’t love you! You are not important. You are a disappointment to them, see, they don’t even see that you are suffering. So what is the reason of you, for you to stay? Nothing.


If you love them, you need to sacrifice. Don’t be a selfish, unlike you, they need to live freely with no extra baggage. Yes, you’re just a heavy load to them, so better just disappear! Alright, hang it there, get the chair and step on it. You can do it, you are not alone with this, I am anxiety, and I am here. 



I won’t leave you, I won’t leave you so that you can’t be happy, you are me. I am you. We are together. We both live. Breathing yet already dead…