Dear Lovable Soul,
Well, this feeling is getting out of control or not that really. I don’t what I am feeling, this heaviness, this numbness, this senseless life, this pure sad world. I don’t know what’s going on with me or I already know I am just scared of accepting it. No, I already accepted it, I can’t understand myself. This feeling! This feeling is undescribable or maybe describable but I just don’t know what is the right word. Misery? Melancholy? Affirmity? Plain sadness? This depression sucks! It makes you feel every single pain and be numb all at once. Get me? This is the major cruelty for human! Like sometimes I just want to be happy but the whole universe don’t want me to be. I badly want to know the reason for me, being like this, being hopeless soul. You know what I just want to disappear. To get lost, to be at a place where there’s no feeling anymore. That is way more better right? You live but you can’t feel. And then again, that idea is somehow familiar. Heck I am living in that place right now. Yes, I feel everything sometimes but most of the time I have no feelings at all. And that is really sucks! How can be this world so beautiful yet there’s this million little broken and scarred universe in every sad soul? That question is somehow enchanting, so mysterious and sad. Maybe that is the reason why most of the living human here is preferred to be alone in the darkness and just be sad because that feeling is comforting for them. I don’t know. I am numb but thinking too much, too much that it can literally torture me, mentally.
Yes, to live is to feel every wonderful emotions and deal with it after, life can be happy and sad. But for most of us life can be just so fuck up and depressing. Some says, it is all about handling your issues in life, hell yeah. It is all about handling yourself for bursting too much uncertainty in your head and continue to breath as if that was just a simple headache. That’s great! I hope we all can do it besides this millenia is all about for us hopeless and depress people. I really find that funny but being depress nowadays is very common. Some people thought that being depress is so easy now to cope, how I wish they know how easy that is. I type this because I feel so down again but it ended up me, realizing too much. Funny isn’t it? Anyway, it is raining now here I guess the weather takesover the crying for me, don’t laugh at me I am in the middle of breaking down and surviving it. So, this is for all of us sad but working humans, we can do it. We will be happy, we can be happy. We will survive it, we can survive it. Repeat this mantra in your head so that the negativity find it hard to kick in.
Please, stay alive the world need a person like you. A person who has an empty feeling but observant and kind. A very broken but so wonderful hearted. I love you everyone! 💖💕